it's important to communicate clearly. say what you mean and mean what you say. otherwise you've got no right to complain.
but social conditioning is a thing. processing speed is a thing. fear is a thing.
"yes, I'm fine". maybe. I'm fine, or I don't want to talk about it, or I don't want to talk to you about it, or you've triggered my social script and generated a useless answer.
ask if I'm sure, or don't. it's more accurate, but it was my fuckup not yours.
"yes", "I don't want to talk about it", "no"
OR "you remember yesterday I said...."
...but what about your social conditioning? your processing speed? your fears?
how far can I go? if I ask "do you hug?" will the tears in my eyes manipulate you into acceptance? if I ask for a kiss, will your past scare you into it, or affection for me mute your objection?
how would I know? and how do I balance what I want with not knowing?
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