Tuesday 15 August 2017

doing it on the kitchen table.

...or not.

I'm a bad asexual. I fuck.

when explaining to muggles why I do this, I ask them to imagine mashed potatoes. I quite like mashed potatoes, but there are other carbohydrates that are less faff to prepare that I prefer. living alone, I'd never bother with mashed potatoes, but if someone I love is really into them? sure, they're tasty and I want you to be happy.

sex is like that. oh, you'll get enthusiastic consent if I love you the right way, and it's good fun, but I don't crave it the way you seem to.

I think maybe the food & sex thing goes further...

....I'm never going to make pinterest-worthy cupcakes. I admire themed party food, but if I made all that I'd want to hide before the guests arrived. an elegant 3 course dinner party isn't going to happen.

because I just don't have that sort of bandwidth. I'll bake, make the kitchen be in a state that is not The Flour-pocalypse Was Here and collapse on the sofa. then I'll try to convince you (or, more realistically, myself) that Wonky Cakes Taste Better and Icing Is Overrated Anyway because in that moment nothing is less appealing than making them look pretty.

 I recently read a blogpost on squirting, and had the opportunity to try a tantric exercise. like the exquisitely presented cauldron cakes & home made butter beer, I like that these things exist, but probably shouldn't try to emulate them. they won't look like the pictures and I'll just end up sticky and disappointed. I just don't care enough about having The Most AMAZING orgasms or cooking enough to put in the work, panic, fail, calm down, reassure everyone else and try again. it's not worth it and that's OK.

Monday 14 August 2017

what I learned at BiCon

- Friday was the day of cat herding. Saturday was the day of rope. rope is more fun than cat herding.

- Sunday was the barefoot day. when you have blisters and your feet are telling you "for the love of clean socks, stop moving!" you probably shouldn't keep dancing.

- I don't regret dancing anyway.

- 6 people across 2 flats is too much cat herding for dinner. foods that can be cooked separately next year (tomato & chorizo pasta? cheesy jacket potato? what else?)

- snack box is genius. always use snack box.

- pack.less.stuff. I miss my early BiCons, where I'd turn up with my (admittedly high-density packed) little red rucksack and a handbag. leave Thud at home and ignore the clothes swaps.

- I'm maybe-not-useless on BiCon teams. someone else on the team that year said I was good *at* BiCon, even if I was more of a liability than an asset before the event (my words, not hers). I trust people I was on the team with far more than my metamor. I love them, but know they'll take my side, right or wrong, especially when I won't.

- group travel is more intense than solo travel. not better or worse, just more intense.

- there won't be much time for sex.

- tantric exercises + my brain = bad. don't do that again without a lot of research first. if I was choosing again, I'd go to the mixed orientation session at that time. ironically, I've never felt more like I was in a mixed orientation relationship than I did then.

- the Irish queer community is apparently the size of a small village. I "found" an Irish guy, and was excited to introduce him to my girlfriend. he was not a new Irish guy. oops.

- he thought it was funny, so no harm done(?)

- not all of the decorative hip harnesses on youtube can stand up to my dancing style.

- based on leftovers, flat 3 like mocha cookies more than mint choc chip cookies. they have a point.

in conclusion, I'm making progress on the Self Care at BiCon Thing. my only wobbles were the tantric session (unavoidable, previously unknown issue), blisters (take plasters next time) and dinner time cat herding. I've solved half the food issue and have thoughts on dinner. as I progress towards being an old timer (this was UK BiCon number 7 for me) I don't want to go to every session on the timetable, even if I do still want to go to one in most time slots.