...der da da dum dum...
I wish I could ask for help, but no one is "entitled" to friendship.
dysfunctional brain told me it couldn't remember the last time a close friend invited me to do something. I answered "but what about [name]s birthday?". "that's different, you got them a present". I didn't have an answer. I cried.
it's time to start channeling the inner octopus to make sense of this crap.
on the one hand (tentacle?), I could probably just be sensible about it and arrange to do social stuff, but on the other, that isn't really "evidence" against dysfunctional brain. they'll come out if I say I need them, but is that just pity? or if the event sounds fun, but that doesn't mean they want to see me. I don't want to see me.
or they might be too busy, which again is no evidence one way or the other. I've lost track of tentacles.
if anyone is reading this, I don't know what you should do either. I want to see you, but not because I need you, I want you to want to see me but I'm not strong enough to believe that you do. and if you can follow that you're a better octopus wrangler than I am.