Thursday, 3 January 2013

diet swearing.

I hate americanisms, but today I'm going to talk about the second most annoying (incase you're interested, my top 3 are "could care less", "ass" and "color" in that order).

If you want to swear, swear. As loud as you like. The more creative and passionate the better.

If you want to describe that piece of anatomy, you have a whole list; bum, bottom, backside, rear, posterior, or, if you really want, ARSE. Just stop watering down our authentic, earthy arses to their sugar free, disneyfied, slightly plastic-sounding asses. It's not a real swear word but, if you didn't want to swear, you could have taken your pick from the list.

Beyond the obvious americanisation issue, this donkey/backside combination word allows for an internet meme that hurts/annoys/demonises/oppresses people like me. As anyone who knows me irl or reads this blog (if there is anyone who bothers to do that) will know, I am autistic. Specifically, I have the soon to be obsolete diagnosis of asperger syndrome. I have heard several variations on the pronunciation of this, but the most common sounds like donkey/backside-burger. This leads to my diagnosis being deliberately misspelled to exaggerate this "joke" whenever someone wants to dismiss an autistic perspective or troll an article on autism. No, this is not the biggest issue autistics face in the NT world, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't mention it. OK, here endeth the lecture. I will now end with some examples of creative swearing.

Go swivel on a pineapple, you LFNT arsewipe of an excuse for a human being.

Croydon sucks. It sucks it's own arse. Croydons arse is West Croydon bus garage...

You want me to tell you where you can stick that idea?....

What you are expressing there, is fractal bullshit. each element of that speech contains an amount of bullshit equal to the amount of bullshittery in the speech as a whole.

(but, having said all that, the literal image of an "asshat" is still kinda funny)

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